Keeping You Safe | Pt. 5 Hurt and Hurting

[owned_by_a_cat]

Title: Keeping You Safe
Pairing: JaeMin/MinJae
Rating: R / NC-17
Genre: AU, Suspense, Romance, Army!fic
Poster credit: vermilions from Spotlight Posters
Summary: Sequel to Nowhere is Safe. After unmasking a top-level sleeper agent in the army's intelligence division, Major Shim Changmin would love nothing better than to settle into his new posting as intelligence officer for the solo squad and explore his brand new relationship with sniper ace Major Kim Jaejoong.
But spy stuff is messy and when the mole is sprung from high-security jail the day before his scheduled execution, Changmin knows that this affair is far from over.
Hoping to unravel the rest of the conspiracy, and to determine the mole's real target, Changmin offers himself as bait, leaving his lover to pull in favours and even make a deal with a man he despises just to keep Changmin safe.

The story so far: Under Attack | Return to Base | Steps out of Sync | First Blood |

Hurt and Hurting

"You didn't really believe that a little explosion would take him out, did you, Major? Let me tell you something: Jaejoong's head is a lot harder than that!" The doctor handed him a shot of soju, motioning for him to knock it back. Changmin obeyed. He relished the burn of the alcohol and breathed for the first time since he'd seen Jaejoong lying lifeless in the rubble.

"He wasn't hurt?"

"Let's not go as far as all that. It was quite a blast and he was unconscious when you found him. The X-ray tells us he's not broken anything, but he's been tossed around a bit. And he's had all that concrete land on top of him. He's bound to be bruised and sore and there's a chance he has a concussion."

"Does he have to stay here?" Changmin asked quietly. It would make doing what he needed to do much easier, but he wasn't sure he could just… leave… without seeing Jae one last time, when he was by no means certain that he would be alive when all of this was over.

"It's barely lunchtime. Why don't you come back at five and I'll see if I can release him to his quarters. Mind you, if he has a concussion, he'll need watching overnight. So you may—"

"No, I won't change my mind, Doctor. I'll be here at five sharp."

Changmin spun and left before the man, who was far too adept at reading people, spotted what Changmin didn't want known.

The attack had caused considerable damage and some injuries, but to Changmin's immense relief, nobody had been killed. He spent the day talking to people until his head felt ready to explode. When the gate guard, who'd been with Jaejoong when the explosion had occurred, had finally been released from medical and Changmin went to see him, his day went from bad to worse.

Ran Joon was sitting beside the man. And they both looked up when Changmin came in.

"How is the Major?" the guard asked anxiously, only relaxing when Changmin shrugged.

"Being watched for a concussion. Otherwise he's fine."

"Thank the gods. I was just telling—" he broke off, clearly unsure how to refer to Ran Joon, and finally settled on "—Ran Joon-ssi that it wasn't an attack. Not as such. I'd just taken in a delivery addressed to you when I saw Major Kim come in. I asked him whether he would take it with him or whether I should call you down. He said he'd take it, but then something caught his eye. I don't know what. He told me to get out and then he grabbed the thing and threw it down the corridor."

"And then it went off."

"Yes."

"I've been quizzing him about the man who brought the delivery," Ran Joon said as he followed Changmin back towards the solo squad's offices a little while later. "I think I have an idea who it was. If I could go after him I could—"

"Sure. I'm letting you leave the base to go after your former associate. Very smart. Wouldn't it be easier all round if you just shot me now? But no… that'd be far too easy an end to satisfy your boss, wouldn't it?"

Ran Joon stared at him from narrowed eyes. "If he's anyone's boss, he's yours. You used to work for him. And I never realised you had that low an opinion of me."

"I didn't either. Until I heard about the blackmail, and the extortion, and saw you commit treason I had no idea what kind of man you were."

"I'm the same man I've always been, Minnie-ah."

"Don't call me that." Changmin rubbed the space between his brows. The headache was starting to mess with his eyesight and he had to go and check on Jaejoong. "Okay, fine," he said, ignoring Ran Joon's offended look. "Maybe you have always been that way and I've simply been blind to what you really were. There. The fault's mine. Are you happy now?"

"I've not been happy in a long time."

"Yeah, well. Join the club."

xxX oOo Xxx

Jaejoong moved a little gingerly, but he didn't look as if he'd taken any serious damage. "I'm fine, Min. Don't fuss," he begged when Changmin hovered over him, even once he'd settled on the sofa in their quarters.

"I don't believe you," Changmin grumbled back. "You didn't have to see yourself, lying under all that concrete. There was a moment when I didn't know whether or not you were breathing. I thought you were dead."

"I know how that feels too, Min. Remember?"

Changmin did remember. Not how Jae had felt seeing him lying in the woods, of course. But he remembered quite clearly how his heart had stopped when the men he'd baited had stepped from the undergrowth and shot his three escorts without a single moment of hesitation.

The men who'd been with Changmin hadn't even had a chance to draw their weapons to defend themselves. And Changmin had inscribed another three names on the roll of honour and revenge he kept in his heart. All the deaths he was responsible for could have been avoided had he not decided to unmask the mole. But these last three had been the most needless.

"I remember," he said tonelessly, still as convinced as ever that leaving the base was the best solution for all concerned. His conviction did little for the ache in his heart and the lump in his throat. "Are you hungry?" he asked to distract himself. "There's ginger soup in the fridge."

Jae wasn't jonesing for a fight either. They shared soup and oat cakes, then took a shower together. Changmin fussed over Jaejoong's many scrapes and bruises and they carefully didn't mention the investigation, Ran Joon, the attack or the decision Changmin was steeling himself to make.

xxX oOo Xxx

Most of Changmin's headaches were fuelled by tension. They usually eased when he relaxed. Feeling Jae solid and warm against his side and hearing his deep, even breaths worked better than a handful of painkillers.

He was exhausted, but sleep eluded him as he'd known it would. Decisions used to come easy to him. He'd assess the situation, find the most suitable course of action and execute his plan without hesitation. Not this time, though, and the reason for that lay sleeping beside him.

Changmin had never had a lover, had never been with someone more than once, let alone for nine months in a row. He'd not anticipated that what they shared together would impact his ability to make decisions. But he now found that it did.

He didn't want to leave Jaejoong, didn't want to hole up somewhere all by himself, somewhere he could draw Hyeon's fire without anyone else getting hurt. It wasn't the same as Jae going on patrol, or Changmin heading to some out-of-the-way listening post to pick up chatter. This decision had the potential to end with Changmin's death… and Changmin found that he just wasn't ready yet to have it all end. It was… disconcerting.

Jaejoong stirring from deep sleep, drew him from his abstraction. The sniper was still on his side, facing away, but he buried backwards against Changmin, seeking contact. Changmin wrapped himself around Jae and buried his face in the man's neck.

"You don't need to stay awake and watch me, you know?" Jae mumbled sleepily.

"'M not," Changmin whispered back, hands roaming over Jaejoong's chest and abs as if he couldn't help himself. "Can't sleep."

"Wanna fuck me? That'll put you right out."

"Can't. Concussion. Yours."

"Bullshit."

Jae's body was coming alive under Changmin's hands, grew hard and demanding and enticing, until Changmin couldn't bite back a groan. Jaejoong could do that to him so easily, even after all those months.

"See? Your dick knows what you need better than that busy head of yours."

"Doc will kill me if I hurt you."

"I'll kill you first if you don't fuck me right now," Jae hissed. "Like this. And you can do the work, so my head can't complain."

And damn if demanding Jae didn't turn him on. As much as the thought that - should his plans fail - this would be their last time together. The realisation galvanised him into action. His hands moved with more purpose, caressed Jae as if he wanted to burn each contour and sensation into his deepest memory. Jae's gasps when too cold lube hit his skin, the soft sighs that shuddered along the column of his throat when Changmin raked his teeth down it, the deeper groan when Changmin pinched nippels and dragged his nails over Jae's abs. And the heartfelt moan when Changmin buried himself to the hilt in Jae's welcoming body.

He stopped thinking after that, his mind finally overwhelmed with sensation. He lost all sense of time and place, only knowing that the two of them moved as one, slowly and carefully, playing each other, pushing each other towards the edge, only to delay the fall again and again. Later, he wouldn't even recall his orgasm, just the long drawn-out journey towards the release. The slip and slide, the closeness, the warmth and - finally - the words Jaejoong may or may not have whispered into the stillness between them.

I love you.

xxX oOo Xxx

"Min, why are you so stubborn? We all know Hyeon and his goons are after you. People will get hurt."

Changmin stared across the room at the man he'd called his lover for the last nine months. The early morning light wasn't kind. It didn't flatter or conceal. Bruises bloomed on Jaejoong's chest and arms. His face was covered in a myriad of tiny cuts and the gash over his cheekbone was an angry red. Jaejoong looked like walking proof of his statement, while Changmin stood at the end of the bed, pristine in his uniform, without a scratch on him.

"People already did," he said quietly. "I've got twenty-two men on my conscience. Don't think I'll ever forget about that. And now there's you. You could have died yesterday."

"I didn't."

"No, you didn't. It was fortunate you recognised the bomb for it what it was. It was fortunate you got somewhat out of the way before it exploded. But I cannot keep relying on fortune. None of you signed up for my mess. Only I did that. And I will be the only one who takes the risks from now on." He saw the gathering storm in Jaejoong's eyes, saw the man open his mouth to argue and raised his hand. "Don't, Jae. I am not my brother. I will not have others pay for my choices. And if I need to pull rank over this I will. Trust me on that."

His bag was packed and sat ready beside the door. And without a further word or another look at Jaejoong, Changmin turned, picked it up and walked out.

Part 6: Overlapping Circles