Note | Rise as One #18
Aug. 31st, 2016 09:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
owned_by_a_catSeries: Rise as One
Rating: R / NC-17
Pairing: HoMin/MinHo
Summary: A series of connected shorts, chronicling Yunho and Changmin's enlistment and getting me through the hiatus. Changmin hates change. Yunho accepts it more readily. But both now have to come to terms with not seeing each other or working together for two years. How will the experience shape them? Will they, when their enlistments are done, still be able to Rise as One?
A/N: Not sure what the Muse was doing here, but first we had Yunho and Changmin meeting up, and then I saw this message - and here we are…
When the ink had started to fade, when the edges looked frayed and the folds had become almost translucent from having been bent this way and that too many times, he had asked his manager to stop the car outside a small copy shop, had run in and gotten the paper laminated.
The paper square no longer fit into his wallet after that, but it hardly mattered as long as he had it with him. He had a scanned version on his phone, used another as the screen saver on his laptop when he felt in need of comfort. He had even used the image to make himself a coffee mug. It was the last thing he touched every time he left his apartment—setting it out on the counter—so it would be the first thing he saw when he came home.
Even his military service hadn't changed a habit he'd cultivated for years. If anything, it had made the tiny paper square even more important. Had made it into a lifeline.
"Cultivate acceptance," Yunho had counselled when he'd admitted his struggles. "Cultivate acceptance, and find the tiny spaces where you can be yourself, where you can breathe."
And Changmin tried. Every day. Every hour. Because he owed his hyung that much. Because Yunho had given him something far more precious than mere persistence.
Changmin curled into a corner of his bunk and put the phone to his ear.
"Did you make it back alright?" he asked as soon as Yunho picked up. "How is your wrist? Were you careful?"
"Manager-hyung offered to carry my bag to the gate, would you believe?" There was laughter in Yunho's voice. There was laughter in the background, too. It hurt a little to hear those happy sounds when he was spun into a dark cloud of gloom.
"You're having a party? Am I interrupting?"
"Nothing like that, Min." The noise faded a little as if Yunho had stepped a ways away from the cheerful crowd. "I told you that they sent me on leave early, so one of the other guys can go sooner? Well, he's a newbie and he enlisted late, because his wife had a baby and he didn't want to miss it… it's his first leave and he's scared silly that his boy won't recognise him or… whatever."
"Ah, the reason for you buying those toys." Changmin's smile grew a little more successful. He'd wondered why, in the very short time they had together, Yunho had insisted on visiting a toy store. And had come out with building blocks and various plushies.
"I wasn't the only one who came back from leave with some." There was barely a hint of embarrassment in Yunho's voice. He'd long given up explaining to Changmin why he loved children so much and Changmin had long given up making fun of him for it. "The poor guy will need a delivery truck to make it home."
"All those heavy packs in training," Changmin pointed out. "I knew there was a reason. How is your wrist?"
"It's fine. The doctor says to keep the splint on unless I'm performing. Just to make sure. It barely hurts, Min, I promise."
"I believe you."
"Good. Now tell me… are you okay?"
"No." Changmin didn't think to lie. It would have been useless. They'd had the same conversation every time they'd managed to meet and had to separate again. They'd talked about it, too. Knew that they both found it hard to go back to their units after they'd spent a few hours together, that it took time to settle back into a routine that was as restrictive as they one they were used to and yet so totally different.
Yunho threw himself back into the middle of the action. He brought food back with him, and books and music and chattered away as if he'd not seen any of the others for months. Changmin sought solitude, space and quiet to reflect on the time he'd spent away from his duties, a chance to go over conversations he'd had once more in great detail.
But always there would be a call from one to check on the other in not so silent support. It was different from the looks and small touches they used to share on stage or during interviews… but not so different after all.
"Better now," Changmin said a few moments later, when he'd done nothing more strenuous than listen to Yunho breathe on the other end of the phone.
"Good," Yunho told him and they both hung up without goodbyes.
Still smiling a little, and with Yunho's voice still ringing in his ear, Changmin removed the back cover from his phone and looked down at the small plastic square he'd taped to the battery. It wasn't the original note—that was safely in his apartment, carefully stored—it was but a tiny copy, but it gave him comfort nevertheless. Even if someone found it, read it even, it would mean nothing to anyone. Nobody would know that Changmin's greatest treasure was a note Yunho had left on his pillow many years earlier.
It had been the answer to a question Changmin had asked him, during a time when they'd barely spoken to each other. The question had been simple. The answer even more so. But it had meant and still meant the world to him.
He gave the tiny square one last look before he reassembled his phone. He remembered how worried he'd been as he'd written his question. How downright scared. And how he couldn't have done any different, because right then he had needed to know.
Do you want to continue? he'd written on a scrap of paper and pinned it to Yunho's door.
The answer Yunho had left on his pillow had been one single word. Yes.
Years later, it was still Changmin's truth.
Rating: R / NC-17
Pairing: HoMin/MinHo
Summary: A series of connected shorts, chronicling Yunho and Changmin's enlistment and getting me through the hiatus. Changmin hates change. Yunho accepts it more readily. But both now have to come to terms with not seeing each other or working together for two years. How will the experience shape them? Will they, when their enlistments are done, still be able to Rise as One?
A/N: Not sure what the Muse was doing here, but first we had Yunho and Changmin meeting up, and then I saw this message - and here we are…
Note
Paper was not meant to last forever. Not a small square like this one. Not even when it meant as much as it did.When the ink had started to fade, when the edges looked frayed and the folds had become almost translucent from having been bent this way and that too many times, he had asked his manager to stop the car outside a small copy shop, had run in and gotten the paper laminated.
The paper square no longer fit into his wallet after that, but it hardly mattered as long as he had it with him. He had a scanned version on his phone, used another as the screen saver on his laptop when he felt in need of comfort. He had even used the image to make himself a coffee mug. It was the last thing he touched every time he left his apartment—setting it out on the counter—so it would be the first thing he saw when he came home.
Even his military service hadn't changed a habit he'd cultivated for years. If anything, it had made the tiny paper square even more important. Had made it into a lifeline.
"Cultivate acceptance," Yunho had counselled when he'd admitted his struggles. "Cultivate acceptance, and find the tiny spaces where you can be yourself, where you can breathe."
And Changmin tried. Every day. Every hour. Because he owed his hyung that much. Because Yunho had given him something far more precious than mere persistence.
Changmin curled into a corner of his bunk and put the phone to his ear.
"Did you make it back alright?" he asked as soon as Yunho picked up. "How is your wrist? Were you careful?"
"Manager-hyung offered to carry my bag to the gate, would you believe?" There was laughter in Yunho's voice. There was laughter in the background, too. It hurt a little to hear those happy sounds when he was spun into a dark cloud of gloom.
"You're having a party? Am I interrupting?"
"Nothing like that, Min." The noise faded a little as if Yunho had stepped a ways away from the cheerful crowd. "I told you that they sent me on leave early, so one of the other guys can go sooner? Well, he's a newbie and he enlisted late, because his wife had a baby and he didn't want to miss it… it's his first leave and he's scared silly that his boy won't recognise him or… whatever."
"Ah, the reason for you buying those toys." Changmin's smile grew a little more successful. He'd wondered why, in the very short time they had together, Yunho had insisted on visiting a toy store. And had come out with building blocks and various plushies.
"I wasn't the only one who came back from leave with some." There was barely a hint of embarrassment in Yunho's voice. He'd long given up explaining to Changmin why he loved children so much and Changmin had long given up making fun of him for it. "The poor guy will need a delivery truck to make it home."
"All those heavy packs in training," Changmin pointed out. "I knew there was a reason. How is your wrist?"
"It's fine. The doctor says to keep the splint on unless I'm performing. Just to make sure. It barely hurts, Min, I promise."
"I believe you."
"Good. Now tell me… are you okay?"
"No." Changmin didn't think to lie. It would have been useless. They'd had the same conversation every time they'd managed to meet and had to separate again. They'd talked about it, too. Knew that they both found it hard to go back to their units after they'd spent a few hours together, that it took time to settle back into a routine that was as restrictive as they one they were used to and yet so totally different.
Yunho threw himself back into the middle of the action. He brought food back with him, and books and music and chattered away as if he'd not seen any of the others for months. Changmin sought solitude, space and quiet to reflect on the time he'd spent away from his duties, a chance to go over conversations he'd had once more in great detail.
But always there would be a call from one to check on the other in not so silent support. It was different from the looks and small touches they used to share on stage or during interviews… but not so different after all.
"Better now," Changmin said a few moments later, when he'd done nothing more strenuous than listen to Yunho breathe on the other end of the phone.
"Good," Yunho told him and they both hung up without goodbyes.
Still smiling a little, and with Yunho's voice still ringing in his ear, Changmin removed the back cover from his phone and looked down at the small plastic square he'd taped to the battery. It wasn't the original note—that was safely in his apartment, carefully stored—it was but a tiny copy, but it gave him comfort nevertheless. Even if someone found it, read it even, it would mean nothing to anyone. Nobody would know that Changmin's greatest treasure was a note Yunho had left on his pillow many years earlier.
It had been the answer to a question Changmin had asked him, during a time when they'd barely spoken to each other. The question had been simple. The answer even more so. But it had meant and still meant the world to him.
He gave the tiny square one last look before he reassembled his phone. He remembered how worried he'd been as he'd written his question. How downright scared. And how he couldn't have done any different, because right then he had needed to know.
Do you want to continue? he'd written on a scrap of paper and pinned it to Yunho's door.
The answer Yunho had left on his pillow had been one single word. Yes.
Years later, it was still Changmin's truth.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-31 10:46 pm (UTC)So simple and beautiful.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-31 11:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-08-31 11:57 pm (UTC)"형 우리 둘이서 계속하고 싶어?" Hyung, do you want to continue as the two of us?
"네" yes. ㅠㅠ
no subject
Date: 2016-09-01 10:15 am (UTC)Now I can see him keeping the 'yes' with him all the time even more...